The Daddy Dom Podcast Episode 14 - The First Step

There's always been a fear  of telling somebody  what you want.  And I'm not talking about  what we want to eat for dinner.  What do you want to do tonight?  I'm talking about  your inner most desires,  the ones that are deep, the ones that  you didn't even know you had.  Those kinks that we all have, those taboos. 

There's always a fear of telling someone what you want sexually, what turns you on.  The fear is  being rejected, being dismissed.  Even worse than that,  being ridiculed or mocked or  told that that is just  what unholy or something.  And that's the fear.  We have that fear of rejection that  the things that we want and what we desire and the things  The kinks, the taboos, you know, of all those things that we want to explore. 

It's hard to express those,  especially to someone that you've just met or, hey, even someone you've known your entire life and you've had this awakening of sexual expression.  How do you express that? How do you tell somebody what you want?  How you want it. where you want it,  how you want to do it,  how many people are involved.

How do you express that without  feeling like you're going to be rejected?  It was a fear of mine for a very, very long time.  And part of me still has that fear on some of the kinks and taboos that I have.  But  I think  in this circle that we have of the common denominator of a DDLG or a DS type of community and DS type of relationships that we have and interactions. 

We're all pretty cool with expressing those things.  No one wants to poo poo your kink if it's not for them, it's not for them. But I think most people that I've found in this community are very open to all the different types of sexual expression and sexual interactions,  but it's getting over that fear. 

It's  the anxiety  of saying, Hey,  Would you mind if I  licked your ass, or can you fuck me this way? Would you mind if you, you know,  tied me up and flogged me?  I think people would be actually quite open to that. It might not be their thing, as we've said, you know, communication is always the key. But if you're in a DS relationship, especially with a daddy dom,  a daddy dom wants to please.

As much as the sub wants to please her daddy dom, right? It's that weird relationship of give and take because you both are givers in this  dynamic.  So, expressing those kinks and desires that you have  I think is a little less than it would be in other relationships. I think that's what makes the DS DDLG  relationship such  a unique and strong bond  is because we come into it  with the same  ideologies, the same  kinks, similar kinks, I should say. 

the same type of mindset with sex and a dominant role and a submissive role.  So walking on eggshells becomes a little bit less, I would say a lot less in that. And it's much easier to express those things  with your partner  in that sort of dynamic.  You should always have these conversations. outside of those DS and DDLG roles.

So you can really, so that power dynamic doesn't affect the decisions or what is being talked about. You want to have it on one adult to another adult talking about what our kinks are, what turns us on. Might be something you've had in your mind for a long time. Might be something new you just saw on, you know, a porn video or something like that or something you read online within the community.

Hey, can we try that? Can we do that?  And that's, you know, where the discussion starts.  but it's just getting your foot in the door. Just taking that first step is always the hardest, the hardest step. How do I approach the subject? How do I get there?  I think it's just  taking a deep breath  and saying it in a positive fashion. 

You don't want to be meek or mild on it.  You want to be, Hey,  I really love this type of sex. I want you to flog me. I want you to tie me up. I want you to  do all these things.  I want you to degrade me.  Cause I saw something online and I read something and I heard about something from a friend and it was just sounded so good.

Or I masturbated the other day to this video that I didn't think I would turn me on, but holy shit, I came so good to that video. So  turning those fantasies into reality  is what a good DS relationship does. A good DDLG relationship does. And remember, as I said, we're already in that dynamic. We're already in a DS dominant sub role. 

And there are so many things to explore within that, but you've already come out to each other and you've already had that experience of saying, Hey, I have a kink. This is my kink of DDLG.  Well, expanding on that just seems for me  natural,  all the things let's explore those. Some of them will like some of them we won't, some of them are better left as fantasies and don't really translate that well into reality. 

So, but the discussion has to come  and expressing your wants and desires  is imperative.  Because the more you get out of the relationship,  the more you give into the relationship.  And that is an amazing DS dynamic.  And that is an incredible DDLG dynamic, is having that open communication and not being judgmental  and not being poo poo. 

Accept it.  If it's not something for you and we can put it in all categories of hard and soft nose.  And as we spoke up before, a hard no is something that you just cannot bring yourself to do for whatever the reason. And that should be respected. A soft no would be something that you might want to do for your partner because it pleases them.

And in turn pleases you.  And a sub always wants to please their dom. So as a dom, it is most important of the highest pinnacle of importance that you respect those hard and soft nose. And as a sub,  you have to be able to articulate those hard and soft nose without the fear  of being ridiculed, rejected, or feeling that you're not giving enough to your dom. 

Obviously the best conversations is that when you bring up something that you're both into and you both have been reserved on expressing that thing and you also find out that you both are really turned on by that,  that is the best case scenario. And, uh, that's what we all want is the best case scenario. 

I think the key in expressing or approaching  this type of conversation of what your kinks are, what your sexual desires are, your taboos are,  is to come at it in a,  very positive sexual manner. Like get that glint in your eye, like  show your partner that this excites you that, Oh my God, this was such a turn on.

I saw this the other day and Oh my God, you wouldn't believe it. This is why it turned me on, or I don't know why it turned me on, but. Damn, it was so fucking hot. Show your Dom or your sub, whichever you are, how excited you are to explore this new kink that you have within the dynamic. I think that is always a very positive approach.

If they see how you are excited and how much it turned you on, again, within the DDLG daddy Dom little girl type of dynamic. You are in a pleasure place. You want to please each other. So if I see that my sub is super excited about exploring this new, you know, sexual style, then, Hey, you know, I'm on board.

I'm on board at least for the conversation. Cause I want to know what turns on my sub and I want to be the one to make that happen. I want to be the one to make those fantasies come true. So, and I think it's both the other way too, you know, a sub is definitely in a disposition that they want to please their Dom. 

So as a Dom, if you show how excited you are for something, then it's a, you're a, you're Probability of it being accepted is a lot higher than if you're just kind of are meek and mild or like, would you mind if we did this?  No, be excited, be positive, be happy about it. And again, if you do get a negative response or like, Ooh, a cringe or something like that, don't take the initial response as.

a crushing blow. Just don't.  Someone's initial response is because you've hit them out of the blue with something. And remember, this is something that you've already thought about, thinking about,  and now you're just bringing another person into the fold of your thoughts that you've had for quite a while.

So give them time, give them time. Their initial reaction might be just the same as what yours was, was your brain is saying, why am I turned on by this? But you know, your clit or your cock is going, I'm turned on by this or vice versa.  So you have been able to take the time and the breath to consume and to figure out what this new kink is and this new sexual playtime that you want to have.

So give your partner  the breath of time to consume, absorb, and have that conversation. The initial reaction is always usually, you know, if it's a negative one, It's reaction because it's, you know, all of a sudden and you've probably caught them off guard regardless of the situation and the conversation that you're having.

So please give them time to absorb and to figure it out and say, yeah, this is something I think we could get into, or this is something that I'm not interested in. And again, we go back to that conversation of the hard and soft nose.  But I think the approach of getting into that conversation always has to be a positive, excited one.

And if you can be sexually charged about it and show them how much it turns you on, then I think your probability of success of making those fantasies come to reality is a much higher.  Another approach is to, which I find a lesser,  Probability of success is to drop hints. And  I know for myself, being a male, uh, pretty dense, you have to hit me over the head with a two by four in order to get my attention on something usually, because I'm just kind of flaky that way.

And, you know, some other males, well, usually that whole.  side of things  isn't too swift on picking up on hints from the female population. So let's try not to do that and try not to leave hints and things like that.  And let's try to be a little bit more direct in those because it's a, you know, it's a direct conversation and, uh, it's an important conversation to have.

Your sexual fulfillment.  Should come from your DOM or sub.  That's the ultimate goal.  That's what we want. And being in the DDLG DS relationship, we've already found someone who fits in that mold. So, expanding on that should be a little easier than most. And that's why I find that  relationship of a DDLG DS relationship so much stronger within the trust and respect and the love and passion  than I've experienced in any other relationship in my life. 

And I hope it extends to you. It takes some time, it takes some effort and it takes some nurturing,  but I think we're off to a good start.  I wrote a small poem a while back about  what I want.  Here it is. Earbuds in, stay tingly, and don't be afraid to take that first step.  You got this.  I believe in you. 

Yummy. 

You know what I like? 

I like the bird songs in the morning while we lay in bed.  How the sun catches your skin.  Or the,  the moonlight catches the shadow of  every curve.  When you look up at me and smile with your hands on my belt.  Yeah.  You know what I like?  You know what I want? I  want your  inhibitions,  all of them, and throw them away, give in, let go,  and stay. 

The yield, your feels, and the sweetest taboos,  all of your naughty thoughts, and that's,  that's what I want. Hmm.  And you know what I  lust?  To be given what is mine.  To take the desire in between the pleasure of us combined.  Nothing.  Nothing compares to sex  of flesh and mind. You  know what I need? 

I need your touch.  The simple  fingers,  hands,  warmth.  It's a must.  The comfort and assurance.  Your presence  in the present.  Here.  Near.  To be seen.  Held. 

You know what I need.  That's clear. 

You know what I think? 

I think of you.  And I think you think of me.  Thinking of us.  Life.  What was.  What is.  And what is to be.  You know what I think?  Hmm.  I think  we think the same.  Hmm. 

And to all of these things that I know,  lust,  the want,  the need,  the things I like, 

do you know what I love? 

You.